“For me, running is a lifestyle and an art. I’m far more interested in the magic of it than the mechanics.”  Lorraine Moller, Olympic Marathoner

I will run my third marathon on February 16th, two days after turning fifty. I train alone, without music, even on my long 15 and 18 mile runs. I don’t care about my finishing time or latest trends and gadgets. For me, running has always been a moving meditation. I meet myself on the trail, one step at a time.

For the past six days I’ve kept to an intense running schedule that has wreaked havoc on the rest of my life. About now is when I want it to be over. The coming week will be even more demanding, followed by five glorious days before the race when I will cut back and rest.

I ran a hard 15 miles this morning. I was planning on running 18 but I didn’t have it in me. My calorie and water intake was off leaving me shaky and nauseated. My doubting self appeared in my head.  She sounded a lot like my daughter reminding me that the Greek messenger sent running 26.2 miles from Marathon to Athens collapsed and died after completing his mission. My training has been sporadically interrupted by an unexpectedly cold winter and its soporific effect.  As the race nears I’m beginning to question if I’m sufficiently prepared to complete the marathon.

Can I really pull it off?  My last marathon was a decade ago.

Hell yes! One step at a time.

What I liked about today’s arduous, sometimes miserable, fifteen mile run.

1. Top on the list is listening to the pieces of conversations that blur by me and come together in my mind as a collage of lives and emotions. I feel like one of the angels in the film, Wings of Desire, wandering through a black and white Berlin listening to people’s thoughts.

2. The Boy Scout parade on the Congress Avenue Bridge – I love a parade.

3. The people on the trail preparing for the upcoming marathon – all ages, sizes and abilities.

4. The babies in strollers and the dogs at Riverside Dog Park.

5. Cliff Shot Turbo Gels, Double Espresso.

6. Everything seems right with the world after a run, even a hard run.

7. I. CAN. RUN.